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  • 185.4

    I think that AA is full of shit. I hear people talking about "unconditional love" and I wonder what planet they're on. I know I am not the easiest person to get close to, but man...I feel like I am back in high school …

  • Had coffee this morning with a friend (P----) I reconnected with on Facebook. She is a far right-winger and born-again Christian. She has found "moderation" in drinking whereas before she had about 10 years sober. She…

  • Depression and Alcoholism

    I have only a scratchy voicemail recording, but apparently my good friend S tried a second time to commit suicide. Somewhere attending that event, she relapsed with alcohol, at almost 20 years sober. I absoloutely beli…

  • I am exhausted so this will be a bullet post, just to show my nose, and then off to bed.Sponsor has not fired me; she just doesn't want me to bring the FM stuff to her for guidance.Bruce Springsteen in concert is quite a…

  • FM asked me to go see Bruce Springsteen in concert. I'm going. The stress I feel is not because there is someone interested in me; the stress I feel is because Sponsor is telling me "No." Well ya know what? She doe…

  • Today was pretty much a repeat of yesterday: meeting, beach (where I had a lovely swim), then home to putter around and do some laundry, printed out some of my photos, then back to another meeting. I really have to…

  • I've been wearing my silver chai pendant again recently... It makes me feel connected. I am struggling again with what my conception of a "higher power" is. I don't feel that it is a personality per se, more of a life …

  • Okay, again I don't know what is up with me. So let's see what happens in black and white.I got home from my noon meeting and did a bit of homework but then wound up getting in bed and staying there until well past 6. …

  • Getting ready to go deep

    I am empty. Something I am telling myself. I am empty of creativity. Another thing I am telling myself. Angry at the neighbors having a wonderful birthday for their little boy, being catty, because Lisa never had a h…

  • 30 Days

    Today is my 30th day sober. I don't know how sane I am...Eleven Stones questioned my not being afraid of a guy with a knife, but being afraid of climbing a bunch of rocks. I suppose that's a little backwards. I am als…

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